Friday, August 31, 2007

HERE’S A GUY ON THE METS THAT ACTUALLY WANTED TO WIN.

Meet Marlon Anderson. Marlon wanted to win the f’ing game.

I know that the umpire’s call was the right one - oddly enough, Derek Zumsteg (who wrote The Cheater’s Guide To Baseball) blogged about this rule two days before Marlon tried to salvage the game for the Mets. But I cannot be angry and am at least heartened that HE F’ING TRIED! HE TRIED! Why? Because he wanted to WIN!

No, the Mets can’t go breaking rules and cheating to win. But at least I have some tangible proof that someone cares.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

REALLY?

You’re really going to let the Phillies sweep us?  Really? You’re kidding, right?

Yeah, I know there’s a game today. I briefly thought of assembling the girls and heading down there. I’m not sure what mind-altering substances I was under the influence of at the time. Oh, wait, it’s the ones that make me think THAT THE PHILLIES SUCK AND MY NEPHEW COULD GET A HOME RUN AT CBP and, to quote Coop yet again, THESE ARE THE GAMES WE NEED TO BE WINNING.

I’m back to thinking that they really just don’t give a damn. That it irks me more than them to think that I have unused World Series tickets still sitting in a FedEx envelope in my bookcase. As though that happens every frickin day around here.

I wish I could exhibit Mike’s calm stoicism, but right now I just can’t. IT’S THE PHILLIES. At worst we should be 2-2. Not going into the last game of the series with them up 3 games.

I just can’t even think about it right now.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

MOTA-VISION.

This is about how I felt last night when Mota got on the mound. I am stealing it because the crabby sign is getting old and I have no time to find something more suitable - when, in fact, this picture says EVERYTHING I could possibly have to say.

The person under the great shirt from the VOTE FOR MR. MET campaign is of course darling Will from Smear The Queer, who I coerced into attending Zoe’s blogger’s night out (and I stole it from her photo album, too.)

I know everyone is going to the theater tonight, but we couldn’t be bothered. Tonight we are going to a minor league game in Staten Island so I can try out MY NEW CAMERA! I want to try the lenses out now, while I can still exchange them, and so I learn how to use the damn thing on a game that does not count.

This means, of course, that OP will do a fantastic job tonight, because I am not watching. Feh.

It’s been a little bit of an insane week, so I apologize for the dearth in entries.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

TAKE A LONG WALK OFF A SHORT PIER.

I have nothing but bad things to say about the Philadelphia Phillies. I hate Chase Utley, I have nothing but invective to cast in the direction of Brett Myers, I think Shane Victorino could play a serial killer in any Hollywood movie—shall I go on? Please, go take a wrong turn in Camden, or go throw yourselves collectively off the Ben Franklin Bridge.

(A note: I realize the bridge that is most proximate to CBP is the Walt Whitman. I would not want to sully that fine bridge, and the fact that it was named after a POET, with the demise of the Phillies.)

Now that I have alienated all of my friends who admire the Phillies, let us move on to the New York Mets. I seem to be the only person on Planet Earth who saw Brian Lawrence in the lineup for last night’s game and didn’t think that the Mets were going to get ABSOLUTELY AND COMPLETELY CLOBBERED. It doesn’t matter who they had pitching; you could take the guy who takes money for parking at CBP and put him on the mound and I guarantee you that he will look like an ACE.

I blame the entire evening, however, on TBF, who sat himself on the couch and proclaimed that this was going to be “an old-fashioned blowout, 11-5 Mets.” Um, HELLO?

We just stopped watching at one point. And then we would feel bad, and unworthy, and turn it back on, only for me to yell, “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?” and TBF would turn it off, and then we’d skulk off to our respective corners. Just about the time that the cat would think it was safe for him to resume his position underneath the coffee table, one of us would turn on the TV again. The only bright sign during the entire game was when we’d get a shot of the out-of-town scoreboard in the outfield and see the Tigers continuing their rout of that Other New York Team.

I’m just going to put up the crabby sign and go back to work. See you at the Blind Pig tonight for Zoe’s Mets-blogger-and-other group therapy session?

Monday, August 27, 2007

MEMO TO THE LEFT COAST.

While I know this is a Mets blog, for Alan and Sarah and Jake and Lauren and Victoria and Deanna and everyone else in the Emerald City, let me take this opportunity to say:

LET’S GO MARINERS!!!

(At least until they get to the point where they’d have to face the Mets. Then all bets are off.)

Sunday, August 26, 2007

JUST A QUESTION.

Who appointed Dane Cook official baseball spokesperson? And can we get a recount?

THE OTHER CARLOS.

Yesterday, we were going up to Stamford, Connecticut, where my folks live, to collect a very important package. Our dinner plans fell through, so I called my folks and asked them if they’d like to meet us for dinner. We did our shopping, and finished about an hour and a half before we had to meet my folks. That was not part of the plan. I hate Stamford, and it’s not like I’ve voluntarily spent any time there since I graduated high school if I could possibly help it.

Me: “Now what.”
TBF: “Bookstore?”
Me: “The only one I remember is too far away.”
TBF: “Somewhere we can watch the Mets game?”
My first thought was, “Ain’t no way I know of somewhere in this town to watch the-- oh, wait.”
Me: “Bobby V’s!”
TBF: “Nice!”

You need to understand that the last time I was in Bobby V’s was before I was old enough to drink. Let’s just say that back in the day, they had a somewhat - LIBERAL - identification policy, even more so if you were young and female. I didn’t give a crap about baseball, and yes, I barely knew who Bobby Valentine was, even though I am quite sure the room was full of as much Mets stuff as it is now. (TBF was especially appreciative of the Friday drink specials during Mets games: “MUST BE IN BAR AREA - MUST BE WEARING METS APPAREL”.)

So we were there as Mr. Delgado came to the plate in the 5th, enjoying a refreshing beverage, and talking about how We Don’t Know What To Do About Delgado, and how We Like Delgado, and the guys at the other end of the bar is saying something similar. We’re not expecting anything, because Delgado has, at this point, steeled us to not expect anything.

The 19th time’s the charm, apparently.

But the sound was off, and so we didn’t get the full impact of what happened since of course it was goddamn Fox, and we had to leave and meet my parents—at an establishment that was so pro-Yankee they not only had the Red Sox game on instead of the Mets, but they had years of team photos stuck behind the cash register. (TBF, as we were leaving: “I’m really sorry we gave these people our money.” Considering we had just taken my folks out to dinner, that was not what I wanted them to hear, but I secretly suspect that my dad admires TBF’s abject Yankee hatred.)

I didn’t get a chance to actually talk to TBF today, since I went off to write before he woke up, and he was on his way to tonight’s game before I got home. But there was an email earlier today:
“What we missed by having the sound not on at Bobby V’s was that in the 5th, when Delgado came up, it was because there were two outs and they had intentionally walked Conine (!) to face him.
The crowd gave him a standing O when he came to the plate.  And then he hit the 2-run single on the first pitch.
Is it cool that the fans did that?  Or is too much of a Seattle-cheering-for-the-effort thing?”

My response, which I think bears repeating:
“i have to imagine it was more like relief. because i think that we as fans like delgado and genuinely want him to do well.”

Or at least I’d like to think that. I’d like to think the booing is because we can’t go up to Carlos and say, “Dude, we’re really sorry, but you’re sucking lately, and you’re just bringing the team down, and we’re trying to get the post season but every time you come to bat with the bases loaded we know you’re an automatic out. Is there anything we can do to help? Are you not getting enough sleep with the new baby? Did you hurt something you’re not telling us about? Are you just tired, or something? C’mon, level with us.”

But we can’t. So we boo, because it’s our only method of communication with the players. But we really don’t want to boo Carlos Delgado. All we wanted was a chance to stand up and cheer for him.

SAVE THE APPLE? UM, NO.

Unlike many of my colleagues, I do not support the “Save The Apple” movement. Partly it’s because I think there are few greater blights to mankind than the phenomenon of the internet petition. Before the internet petition, people actually had to DO SOMETHING in order to make their cause heard. They had to make phone calls, write letters, take action. Frankly, dressing up like the Home Run Apple and standing behind the windows at the SNY Studios every night during GEICO Sportsnight or during each and every Mets pregame show (or even just showing up in a Mets jersey with a sign reading SAVE THE APPLE) would have far more effect, not to mention be far more original, than throwing together a web site and an internet petition.

But you know what else?
I don’t want to save the apple.

Before you all get bent out of shape, and call me a heretic, let me explain. I [heart] the Home Run Apple as tacky, cheesy, the 70s at its best. I spent way more money than I should to acquire a Home Run Apple alarm clock on eBay earlier this year, and consider it the Holy Grail of my Mets collection. But I do not want that worn out piece of crap in Citi Field. Would I be upset if there wasn’t a Home Run Apple? You bet your sweet bippy. But we already know there’s going to be an apple, so why are we getting bent out of shape? For all you know, they could build a new apple that looked like the old apple and you would never know. Hell, they could have replaced the original apple six times now, and no one would ever know. So what’s the point?

Once again, before you run me out of town on a rail, understand that I spend my copious free time taking photographs of the remnants of forgotten New York and am overjoyed when I find an original street sign or wall ad. I am all about preserving our heritage, but you know what, I’m fine with a new apple AS LONG AS THERE IS AN APPLE. As far as we know, the original apple will sit in a museum somewhere. Why should we continue to be happy with beat-up crap? No, seriously. Why should the apple be falling apart and rusty and gross? Why shouldn’t it be shining and gleaming proudly? IT’S THE HOME RUN APPLE! IT’S CELEBRATORY!

Understand, that TBF and I are going to be the first people in line to buy seats from Shea when they go up for sale. I think there are things at Shea that no one thinks about that should be preserved before the damn apple, but no one is writing about them. Frankly, I’m more worried about what the new scoreboard is going to be like. We have one of the best scoreboards ANYWHERE in terms of volume and quantity of information, and out of town info. No one is whining about that. What about the skyline and the light-up Mets logo and the Twin Towers at the top of the scoreboard? I mean, what about that scoreboard, too? That was state-of-the-art once, rear projection, that you can see if you look on the subway walkway and in old pictures - no one is whining about THAT and that’s been there since the dawn of time.

When I posted the above photo of the recently-cleaned up apple, people were actually UPSET. Shea is a freaking fetid dump, but yet we’re going to complain when they renovate something? I say YAY that the apple has new leaves and is shiny and polished. Goddamn it, we DESERVE new and clean and shiny and well-taken care of.

If you want to bring something back, how about the bullpen car? There. Let’s be totally ridiculous.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

PENNY ANTE. [08-24-07]

I’ve been searching my brain, and realize that I don’t have anything that spectacular or even interesting to say about tonight’s game. I am having train issues, which will not interest anyone. The 7 was crowded, too many guys wearing Mets shirts that don’t shower, and too many idiots who don’t know how to ride the subway. I love the subway. I am pro-subway. But I think I am going to start taking the freaking LIRR so I don’t have to deal with the 1 taking 35 minutes for a 15 minute ride, and the 7 issues as noted above.

I even forgot about Fiesta Latina or whatever it was tonight until I got through bag check and saw the 90 million security guards. Let me get the rant out of the way: Am I the only one bothered by this blatant racism every time there is a Latin-themed event?  Do the Mets pull this crap on Jewish Heritage Day?  Wait, don’t answer that. The only thing that happens at these games that doesn’t happen on any other random Friday night is that people mill around A LOT more. You know how you solve that? BY THE USHERS ACTUALLY DOING THEIR JOBS INSTEAD OF FISHING FOR TIPS. More ushers in the tunnel entrances checking tickets of people who are obviously just walking around. And before you say, “Well, all the people there for the concert try to move down to better seats,” please see above, and if you’re really concerned, how about you treat people with actual intelligence and respect. How about you hand out fliers as people walk in - in English AND Spanish - saying, “Please do not move down to other seats until the game has ended. You can move anywhere you want once the game is over, but you will not be allowed to stand in the aisles.”

But noooo. Let’s have a completely ineffective search - okay, wait. I don’t know if the search is ineffective because I’m a white girl from Connecticut. Just like the NYPD ignores me every single time I walk into the subway and they have a table set up for random bag searches, no security guard at Shea is going to give me a hard time. Both situations are bullshit. Either you enforce security or you don’t. But the disrespect for the Latino community is so blatant I wonder how the Mets continue to get away with it.

[More about the actual game after the jump.]

Thursday, August 23, 2007

POSTSEASON INVOICES!

Thank you for your online payment for 2007 Mets Postseason tickets.

Click on the ticket logo for any game. See the link for postseason invoices at the top. Click on it. It’ll take you where you want to go. (Even if earlier today it didn’t work for you.)

One year, exactly, to the day from last year.

Now the Mets just need to do their part.