Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A LETTER TO THE NEW YORK METS. (THE ACTUAL PLAYERS.)

Dear David, Jose, Johan, Carlos, and the other 124 players in PSL right now,

You all just got to camp and the media is lining up to get interviews and quotes and hand-held video and camera photographs. I know. I get it. I’m seeing it.

Here’s what I want to hear from you, since you have to say the same thing about 50000 times: I want to hear that you’re working hard. I want to hear that you are confident. I want to hear that you know that last year was unacceptable. I want to hear that you worked hard in the offseason and came into camp in shape and ready to go. I want to hear that you are optimistic about the season. I want to hear that you’re looking forward to the season. I want to hear that you are confident in your abilities. Hell, you can even say you’re confident in your teammates’ abilities, even if you’re not quite on board 100% with that. You gotta share a clubhouse with these guys.

Your attitude should be calm and confident. Cocky is not going to cut it. Cocky makes you look stupid. I don’t want to hear that “We expect to win the National League East”. “We expect to dramatically exceed our performance last year and make our fans proud of us” would do just fine.

“We’re expecting to go out there and win the National League East, go deep in the playoffs and win a World Series.”

David. Cocky makes us yell things at the computer or television screen, because we heard you say all those things for the last couple of years.

I’m not saying you have to hang your head or wear a dunce cap or answer every question with, “Yeah, I know, we suck!” But please.

That said, I COULD NOT BE MORE EXCITED THAT PITCHERS AND CATCHERS REPORT TOMORROW. Why are there no cards for this auspicious occasion? Why are there no sterling silver Tiffany earrings in the shape of little baseballs? THERE WOULD BE A MARKET FOR THESE.