Monday, May 03, 2010
HOW TO ANSWER THE QUESTION, “SO WHAT HAPPENED TO SANTANA LAST NIGHT?”
Just in case you are unable to hide behind a closed office door or a pair of headphones, here are some sample responses you might try in answer to the question posed in the headline.
- “Well, I don’t know who that was, but that wasn’t Johan Santana.” (Must be uttered with a completely straight face, then go back to work.)
- “The Mets really don’t want this getting out, but Johan Santana has been abducted by aliens.”
- *unintelligible muttering, pointing at the ceiling, many hand gestures, go back to work*
- “When he had surgery at the end of 2008, his arm was replaced by a robotic arm, and there was a government recall on one of the parts. We just haven’t had time to send it back yet.”
- “He ate a bad cheesesteak for lunch. I suspect sabotage on the part of the staff at Pat’s.”
- “This is all part of Jerry Manuel’s strategy to lull the Phillies into thinking that the Mets suck, and then they’ll come roaring out from behind later in the season.”
- “He was attacked by a cloud of invisible midges.”
Oh, who am I kidding? I got nothing. Add your own in the comments.
[h/t to Kerel Cooper from On The Black, who asked this question earlier this morning.]
Posted by Caryn at 09:00 AM
“We’re just trying not to get too far out in front of them, just to spare the fans from one of those gut-wrenching September collapses that both of these teams are infamous for.”
8. Good morning, fellow co-worker. I know we don’t talk much beyond the usual work-related or weather small talk, but I appreciate that you are aware of which baseball team I choose to support. Your question, however, puzzles me. There can be one of three reasons why you chose to pose this question to me, and in this way. One - you are only a casual baseball observer but happen to be aware of the events of last night as they unfolded on a national stage. You are asking me, as someone who follows the sport - but not that closely - how it is possible someone regarded as one of the best pitchers in baseball can have a complete meltdown the likes of which are only seen by players who come off the scrap heap. If that is your question, my answer is simple: it happens. Baseball is a long season, and often the best of players can go through rough games, rough weeks, even rough months. I don’t think I’m alarmed as to the long-term viability of our ace, though. It’s certainly stunning - and quite difficult to stomach, as his catastrophic start came against a bitter rival, but it will take much more than one bad start from Johan Santana for me to legitimately engage in conversation questioning his status as one of the game’s elite status. Two - you aren’t really curious, rather you overheard some morning TV or radio chatter, or caught a glimpse of today’s sports section, and are aware that “What’s wrong with Santana” is becoming a media-manufactured storyline for the day, and would like to engage me in this conversation, as you don’t really have much else to say to me. To that I would say I appreciate you trying to talk to me about my favorite team, but I’d prefer to have serious conversations about the Mets with more serious fans. Thanks for your concern over Santana, I think he’ll be OK. Three - you are an engaged baseball fan, but support the other New York team and are trying to bait me. Kindly go to hell.
So far today, abuse has been minimal. I’ve spoken to two Yankees fans today (both nice guys).
First YF: “Interesting 4th inning yesterday, huh?”
My response: “I turned it off after the grand slam.”
Another person interrupted to avoid further detailed discussions.
Second YF: “So, how did your Mets do over the weekend?”
My response: “Well, we won one out of three. All the games were blow-outs”
Second YF: “Too bad. I guess only half the TV audience got to enjoy those games”
The remaining discussion was about his visit to CBBP to see Billy Joel.
He honestly doesn’t pay attention to the Mets and has better things to worry about :-)
Having been at the Nationals Sunday afternoon game where Johan was slapped around in Citi field’s broad expanse….I am a bit skeptical about the “bad game” theory anymore…something has definately changed in Johan, and it’s not for the better. Waay too many balls are going out of the yard to fluff it off. It’s time for Warthan to earn his money ...and get Santana to find a way to keep his pitches down so at least if they are smoked..they stay in play. And lets keep the “I’m a man” stuff out of it. Jerry needs to be a little faster with the hook in such a pivotal spot. I’m jusy sayin
did Ollie and Johan switch bodies??? good outing by Ollie today!
He was just trying to make Pelfrey feel better.
There was a comment on fannation after some team from the Bronx gave up 7 runs in one inning (the seventh?) that it would be preferable to have a blow out earlier rather than later as it hurts more when you do that even if you are not winning. Anyone remember the game 2 - 1 down at Wrigley and then giving up 5 runs in the eight?
“We’re just trying not to get too far out in front of them, just to spare the fans from one of those gut-wrenching September collapses that both of these teams are infamous for.”