Thursday, March 06, 2008
IN FURTHER NEWS
Generalissimo Francisco Franco Is Still Dead
When I walked into work this morning, Carlos from Accounting waves at me.
“Please, give me some optimism.”
I stare blankly at him.
“Alou.”
Another blank stare.
“Out with a hernia. 4-6 weeks.”
“Wait - Moises Alou is injured?! Surely you jest. Alou - out 4 to 6 weeks? Nooo. You must be talking about someone else.” I shake my head. “Carlos. It’s Spring Training. It’s Moises Alou.”
As Mike put it this morning:
The bad news about Moises Alou has been dispensed, and the endless string of handwringing and negativity begins anew. The euphoria over the Santana trade is all but forgotten.”
Steve Somers said something similar a few nights ago - oh my god, it’s March 4, the season is over, you’re all going to be calling with the gnashing and the moaning.
Am I the only person in the Tri-State Area that didn’t expect Moises Alou to get through the year injury-free? It’s the eternal TBF-MG debate: TBF reminds me of how great Alou is. I point to his DL stints. He quotes his number of at-bats. I remind him that the reason he got so many at-bats last year was because he was the only guy not falling apart at the end of the year, so of course he was performing, he’d been RESTING for 3/4 of the year. Andrew from row F leans over and reminds us that there’s a rock in his backyard that moves faster than Moises Alou. Some Cubs fan glares at me from the Friendly Confines and speaks of him in hushed, reverent tones. Moises himself looks straight into the camera instead of at Kevin Burkhardt and states for the 53rd time in a 3 minute interview how much he’d like to stay in New York. I say, Moishe, honey, maybe try some yoga?
There are exactly 4,563 beat reporters are down in PSL. The magnifier is on full amplification, everybody’s scurring around trying to find something new to say. OMG METS DEAD IN WATER, WASTED $137.5M ON BRINGING SANTANA TO FLUSHING is going to get more eyeballs than CALM DOWN THE SEASON HASN’T STARTED YET.
I also remember how we had these same discussions except you and I agreed that Alou was a solid signing for one year...2008 not so much. It didn’t surprise me one bit - so much so that The Coop’s sooth saying came into play once again with an article I wrote nearly 5 months ago on FU. Basically about how I loooove Moises, just don’t want him on the team. I can understand why the Cubs fans love him. He represented all their hopes and dreams and fragility. That’s all warm and fuzzy. I’d like a warm body out in Left everyday who won’t fall apart the minute someone sneezes near him.