Tuesday, May 01, 2007

PARK LIFE. [4-30-07]

Welcome to the upper deck on a Monday night, against the Marlins. El Duque on the DL. To quote TBF, “Hmmm. Pitcher called up due to injury, four letter last name - where have I seen this movie before?” You’ve all seen this movie before, because it’s called The Pitcher Sucked Was Not Great, and The Team Was Asleep.

I know. The same wind that should have carried our balls out over the fence also carried THEIR balls out, over the fence, against the scoreboard, and, mysteriously, out of our gloves. There was one inning-ending play so bad (when Reyes, Easley, Green and Delgado, if not Alou too for good measure, all went running for the ball, with Reyes ultimately dropping it) that I just started screaming along the lines of: “ALL FOUR OF YOU??! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” The crowd starts to boo Park and I join in, feeling the need to clarify, “I’M NOT BOOING HIM, I’M BOOING THE FOUR OF YOU, YOU KNOW BETTER!”

The team wakes up, rallies back to regain four runs, only to let them get another two. People were leaving in droves, and honestly, I don’t know how much I blamed them. It was windy, and the Mets didn’t seem to care, why should they?

You know it’s bad when the highlight of the game is the addition of Sr. Oliver Perez to the faculty at the Jose Reyes Spanish Academy.

Moments from tonight’s game:

“I don’t know any swear words in Korean,” I said.
TBF says something unintelligible, but that sounds like Korean.
“What’s that?”
“It’s ‘hello’. It’s what Jae Seo used to say during the ground rules.”
“That’s not helpful right now.”

Rick Peterson walks out of the dugout. “‘Coaching visit to mound,’” TBF comments, in his best Gamecast imitation.
“What’s he going to say? ‘Chan Ho, do you like kimchi? And do you like ice cream? Do you like them together? Well, right now it’s like you’re putting kimchi on your ice cream,’” I attempt.

[more after the jump]

I’m not even going to bother because I’m cranky. I thought - maybe - maybe - we were going to rally there for a while, even though we missed plenty of great opportunities earlier in the game. I don’t think it was all Chan Ho’s fault, but it’s easier to boo the new pitcher than it is to boo Reyes and Wright. And hell, we shouldn’t be booing OUR OWN PEOPLE ANYWAY.

Notes:
--We don’t like the flex cam, the air guitar cam, or the monster cam. Once in a while, the Shea sheep have some sense.

--They’re using ‘Hey, Ho, Let’s Go” from “Blitzkreig Bop” by the Ramones when someone strikes out. I would like to take credit for this, but it’s likely Gary Cohen. I am happy to hear it, even if we did hear it on the Yankees broadcast over the weekend, causing temporary outrage until I remembered that despite their Forest Hills origins, Johnny Ramone was a Yankees fan. He also had one of the world’s largest private collections of baseball cards. There’s an article in the NY Times archive I have to dig out some day.

--The Moises Alou embargo is over. “Holy Moises”? You’ve got to be kidding me. What’s next? “Easley Does It”? I was starting to mutter something about looking for the 666 on the back of his neck, and then the joke didn’t register with TBF and explaining it killed it dead, probably mercifully. You know it’s bad when people start chanting for Endy after Moises misses a catch at the fence.

--Is Chris Rock really the only celebrity that we can get to chant “Let’s Go Mets”?

--Best heckle: “Chan Ho out-of-the-Park!”

--How does Mr. Met punch all those little holes in the All-Star ballot with those big fingers?