Sunday, August 26, 2007

SAVE THE APPLE? UM, NO.

Unlike many of my colleagues, I do not support the “Save The Apple” movement. Partly it’s because I think there are few greater blights to mankind than the phenomenon of the internet petition. Before the internet petition, people actually had to DO SOMETHING in order to make their cause heard. They had to make phone calls, write letters, take action. Frankly, dressing up like the Home Run Apple and standing behind the windows at the SNY Studios every night during GEICO Sportsnight or during each and every Mets pregame show (or even just showing up in a Mets jersey with a sign reading SAVE THE APPLE) would have far more effect, not to mention be far more original, than throwing together a web site and an internet petition.

But you know what else?
I don’t want to save the apple.

Before you all get bent out of shape, and call me a heretic, let me explain. I [heart] the Home Run Apple as tacky, cheesy, the 70s at its best. I spent way more money than I should to acquire a Home Run Apple alarm clock on eBay earlier this year, and consider it the Holy Grail of my Mets collection. But I do not want that worn out piece of crap in Citi Field. Would I be upset if there wasn’t a Home Run Apple? You bet your sweet bippy. But we already know there’s going to be an apple, so why are we getting bent out of shape? For all you know, they could build a new apple that looked like the old apple and you would never know. Hell, they could have replaced the original apple six times now, and no one would ever know. So what’s the point?

Once again, before you run me out of town on a rail, understand that I spend my copious free time taking photographs of the remnants of forgotten New York and am overjoyed when I find an original street sign or wall ad. I am all about preserving our heritage, but you know what, I’m fine with a new apple AS LONG AS THERE IS AN APPLE. As far as we know, the original apple will sit in a museum somewhere. Why should we continue to be happy with beat-up crap? No, seriously. Why should the apple be falling apart and rusty and gross? Why shouldn’t it be shining and gleaming proudly? IT’S THE HOME RUN APPLE! IT’S CELEBRATORY!

Understand, that TBF and I are going to be the first people in line to buy seats from Shea when they go up for sale. I think there are things at Shea that no one thinks about that should be preserved before the damn apple, but no one is writing about them. Frankly, I’m more worried about what the new scoreboard is going to be like. We have one of the best scoreboards ANYWHERE in terms of volume and quantity of information, and out of town info. No one is whining about that. What about the skyline and the light-up Mets logo and the Twin Towers at the top of the scoreboard? I mean, what about that scoreboard, too? That was state-of-the-art once, rear projection, that you can see if you look on the subway walkway and in old pictures - no one is whining about THAT and that’s been there since the dawn of time.

When I posted the above photo of the recently-cleaned up apple, people were actually UPSET. Shea is a freaking fetid dump, but yet we’re going to complain when they renovate something? I say YAY that the apple has new leaves and is shiny and polished. Goddamn it, we DESERVE new and clean and shiny and well-taken care of.

If you want to bring something back, how about the bullpen car? There. Let’s be totally ridiculous.