Tuesday, June 01, 2010
WITH SINCERE APOLOGIES TO BOB DYLAN.
Update: Please read Kind Commenter Ray’s contribution, “Positively 126th Street,” in the comments. Must see.
Oliver Perez Shall Be Released
They say every man can be replaced
Yet every pitcher’s ERA must persevere
So I remember every face
Of every LHP who put us here
I see our hope come shining
From the AL West to the NL East
Any day now, any day now
Oliver Perez shall be released
They say every man needs an agent for protection
They say every man can’t throw a 90mph fastball
Yet I swear I see Scott Boras’ reflection
Some place so high above the outfield wall
I see our hope come shining
From the AL West to the NL East
Any day now, any day now
Oliver Perez shall be released
Standing next to Dan Warthen in this lonely crowd
Is Oliver Perez, who swears he’s not to blame
All day long I hear him shout so loud
Crying out that Buffalo won’t help his game
I see our hope come shining
From the AL West to the NL East
Any day now, any day now
Oliver Perez shall be released
Posted by Caryn at 12:33 PM
Positively 126th Street:
You’ve got a lot of nerve
To take a roster spot
When we were down, you just kept on pitchin’
You’ve got a lot of nerve
To say your prospects are the least bit hot
You and your agent stand there and keep bitchin’
You say we let you down
You know it’s not like that
If we’re not supportive
Why not overcome it?
You say you lost your touch
But that’s not where it’s at
You had no touch to lose
And you know it
I know the reason
You refuse to rehabilitate
Your agent says it’s
Future contract poision
Do you think us to be such fools
To waive you from your contract
And assign you to maybe regain your pitch
With the Bisons?
You see us in the stands
You always act surprised
When we boo and cry out “Fuck you!”
And we mean it
When you know as well as me
We’d rather see you waiver-wired
Why don’t the Wilpons tell Omar
To scream it?
No, I do not feel that good
When I see the losses that you cause
If I ran the Yankees, maybe I’d forgive them
But then I’d do it just to
Diss the Mets and please the Boss
Don’t you know they’d option you to Scranton?
I wish that for just one time
I could stand upon our mound,
And just for that one moment
I could be you
Yes, I wish that for just one time
I could stand upon our mound
And someone’s seeing-eye base hit would see you!
Fantastic…nice work!